Aloha is not just loving others but also receiving their grace to us. It often means being vulnerable, open-hearted. It means that we refuse to wear masks allowing our true selves to be known. It means that we no longer play it safe with others. Immediately my mind has cautioned me. “Don’t give yourself away like that. You have no idea what someone will do to you.” I suppose there is wisdom needed when establishing relationships. But, instead of thinking “How far can I go with you?”, perhaps the better question is “Where do we begin?” In time, we will know our limits, if a person is trustworthy, for example.
The word that comes to mind, at this point, is intimacy. Perhaps an easy to way to define it is into me see. Yes, we accept the uncertain challenge of opening ourselves to others a little at a time. Flowers do not bloom overnight. Leaves form on the plant, buds come and slowly the flower opens from its safety. Then, the beauty is seen. But, how vulnerable the flower now is. In relationships, it is this process of openness that we love and receive love. Expectations are redefined from give and take to simply giving.
When we choose to live an Aloha life, we communicate an authentic identity, which alone can heal, free and create sustainable, genuine, loving, life-giving relationships. It means accepting a person as he or she is, not to change them, but to simply love them.