Why is listening so difficult at times? One of my former teachers wisely said, “We have to be double listeners.” We must listen to our own hearts while listening to the hearts of others. Only when we double listen can we blend the two hearts together.
In Hawaiian, Hoʻolohe Pono means “to listen carefully, intently, rightly, and justly.” Disciplined listening is more important than I realized.
Accompanied with an attitude of openness and humility, thoughts come to my mind:
- Sometimes words are not the best way to influence.
- Listen without an agenda.
- Listen with an open heart to hear the story behind the story.
- Humility is the virtue the world needs most in order to heal its incredibly deep, complex, and painful wounds across racial and cultural lines. One of the primary ways humility is expressed is in listening to others carefully for their sake, not for your own.
- Listen as a means to build trust.
- Listen without being self-centered and with an open heart to receive what the person is offering me.
- Understanding that entering into another’s life and place is a privilege and not a right.
- Sometimes it’s just better to LISTEN.
- It’s about “I would like to hear what you have to say,” rather than, “I am gonna tell you something.”
I think there is a lot more I need to consider regarding Hoʻolohe Pono. It’s a discipline that I will have to learn and I am thinking the lessons will never end.